Don't ask from people more than you are asking from yourself.

I strongly believe that everything happens for a purpose. Being intelligent creatures, we have the power and it's our duty to learn something from each and every one of our experiences, pleasant or not, entertaining or discouraging. And if everything recurs in life, that means we haven't learned a thing from the lessons we were supposed to learn. That's why I believe that people can progress only if they want to. Otherwise, there will be nothing new under the sun.

Last week, I met a special man. I call him special because, in some way, he doesn't resemble anyone else. And, especially, because he taught me a valuable lesson that I'm sure I will find useful in the future.

I was in a gym, playing football with my friends, some of them with which I had been colleague at the same football club years ago. The gym was pretty large and modern. We had a nice game. But one of the three teams didn't play that well. It was obvious. It's no wonder the players' passes didn't bond, because they were random. They were losing many balls, they didn't run at all, they didn't help each other, but played individually. There was no connection. Their game was evolving on the wrong lines.

The moment we took a break, sitting on the bench next to Andrei, the captain of the team, I couldn't help but ask him: “Andrei, why don't you talk with the boys of your team to make them concentrate more on the game? Don't you see you're getting nowhere? You never played so weak like you did today.”

The answer I received was all about boast: “Nicu, these boys played by my side for years. We know each other well. They also trust me, like I trust them. But if I don't play well, they notice and they don't struggle to better me. Don't you see that I also play like a rag today? That's why I can't ask them more than I ask from myself. When I'll perform a fine game and I won't lose that easily so many passes, only then I could lay claims to them. Otherwise, I can't do that. How could they follow me if I'm the one playing the weakest of all?”

The results of a team depend on its leader's efforts

That day, Andrei taught me an important lesson that many refuse to learn: when the leader “plays” weakly, the rest of the team immediately abandons the race. But, moreover, that a leader can't criticize or judge the members of his team and can't lay claims on them while he can't fulfill his duty flawlessly.

There are many leaders, and now I'm talking in general, who aren't that sincere and honest like Andrei is. They ask from people more than asking from themselves. Is this normal? Of course, I do realize that some who have leadership positions have the authority to intervene and implement various changes, to impose rules, to take decisions and demand the subordinates to obey them in order to achieve their goals.

But I find it an outrageous lack of professionalism to demand from people something beyond what you're capable to offer yourself. An absolute lack of fair-play. A total absence of respect to the members of the team who struggle to make a good work, who do their best in order to achieve better results.

The duty of a leader is to be close to people, to give them a hand at need, to reward each of them according to their performance. But if he doesn't struggle at all, if he doesn't care for the team's results and doesn't involve himself into supporting and developing the team, then the subordinates, at their turn, won't have concrete reasons to be interested either. And if the leader challenges people more than he does with himself, then they'll label him as being “inadequate” and they'll come to replace the leader.

P.S. If you want to achieve your goals, you always have to keep in mind the competences of the team and not to ask from people more than you are asking from yourself.