The mirage of discovering the unimaginable

On February 05, 2010, in Real leadership, by Neculai Fantanaru

You cannot reach the “unimaginable” without correcting your imperfections.

I was only eight years old back then, but I remember very well that sunny summer day, when I was sitting in the living room watching my mother paint. I am aware that memory can sometimes play tricks on somebody, but not on me, the memory of that day will always be alive.

My mother's hobby has always been painting, she has always manifested a special interest towards art and painting, towards everything that is beautiful and nice. She still has a special aesthetic sense. Having a rich imagination, she always adds something new to her paintings: a light, a shadow, a glow, a brightness or a fascinating background, or a mysterious aspect, but always keeping the proportions. She knew how to put her feelings into the paintings. She knew how to make the difference between the essential and the unimportant, but she had measure in everything.

In any case, that entire after-noon she painted continuously, until it was almost dark. I watched her painting, at which she worked the entire week, as if it belonged to a great personality. It was just like a picture from a magazine, that's how good it was. The rose petals, red like the fire, the rays of the sun that were slipping through the petals, the bright green porcelain vase which had some small Chinese characters engraved on it, under which there was the white triangular macramé, the dark brown oak wood table, they all created a living, very clear, splendid, quality image.

The measure of the masterpiece

I realized, looking closely at the painting, that few people could have painted something that beautiful. The painting surpassed anything imaginable. It was extraordinary from all points of view. I stared at it in amazement, wondering how could it have been made so well, with such excellence and delicacy.

Seeing the reaction on my face, my mother told me:

- The painting is beautiful, but you should know that it has a lot of imperfections. It is not as good as you think it is and as I hoped it would be. I still have a lot to practice. Look at the rose shanks. Didn't I make them a little bit too long...? Look at the vase. Isn't it a little too small for these roses…? Look at the petals I painted. Are they identical to those in the vase? Aren't they too wide and too fleshy…? And so on.

She made a short pause and then she continued:

- There are plenty of other painters a lot more skillful than I am. It will be long before I get to be a real artist, before I reach the unimaginable.

Do you live with the illusion that you are awesome?

On that day, I learned a precious lesson: that not everything what seems extraordinary is also very well made. What seemed to me formidable, for the eye of a real artist, it was merely an attempt and just that. There are few who can succeed in accomplishing something really special, something that would exceed any imagination. However, many fall for the trap I fell into because they completely ignore the details and because they are not fine connoisseurs of art. Everyone can “read” a painting from their knowledge point of view, but not everyone is an expert in the field who could really understand and asses a work of art.

Leadership, just like a painting, is an art. My question is: how many of those who have high positions really have the talent to be leaders? How many of them really know how to work with people? How many of them succeed in positively influencing those they have under their command, how many of them have charisma, how many of them have advanced competences, how many of them assume responsibility for their actions? Because what some think they are, namely good professionals, can, in fact, be only dilettantism, since, unfortunately, many are wrong when they imagine that they are excellent professionals and talented leaders. For this reason, I think that it is necessary that some people open their eyes better towards reality, before it's too late.

One of the mistakes made by people at high levels is that they want to reach the “unimaginable” very quickly, without correcting their imperfections. They don't know their weaknesses and limitations, they don't know how they are seen by those around them, they don't accept criticism (although, they apparently do) and, overwhelmed by a terrible interior desire to be more and more admired, they asses their performances in a wrong way. Instead of trying to change their mentality and make efforts to really improve themselves, they always live with the illusion that they are great.

The mirage of discovering the unimaginable can be interpreted or can be expressed by these words: there is always a way for improvement, which means a lot of work. Letting yourself tricked by a mirage is a big mistake, which could have lethal consequences.

P.S. Form a realistic picture about yourself.